Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
