Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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