i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
