she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
