Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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