maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
