it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
