Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
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