SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize