Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
