i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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