im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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