guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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