just come out here and I will go home with you...
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Randomize
