this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Randomize
