she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize