I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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