yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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