I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I just had sex on a roof
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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