I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
