My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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