This is not my ceiling
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
