just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
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