do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
