I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
You pole danced in your parka.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
