his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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