Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
