He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
