no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Too much gin, very little bucket
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize