she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
