I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
There r osticjed everywhere
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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