He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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