so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
