we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Randomize
