We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
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