I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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