In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
barbara walters just said penis...
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
The Olympian is in my bed
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
