Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
