I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
