I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
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