If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
i drank out of a bidet.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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