I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Michael Bay diarrhea
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
My dick has a subreddit
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
