yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
