in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
There r osticjed everywhere
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize