He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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