he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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