I'll bet she douches with gravy.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Randomize
