fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
