I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
and she was petting her beer can
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
