I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
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