My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
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