Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
So squirting runs in the family.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Randomize
