i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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