i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
