have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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