i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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