if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
