Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
