i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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